


Time and Again

by FollyOfWinchester



Series: Nothing Good Will Come [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Vessels, Canon Compliant, Deleted Scenes, Episode: s07e12 Time After Time, Goodbyes, Headcanon, M/M, Missing Scene, Season/Series 07 Spoilers, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 15:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2778842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FollyOfWinchester/pseuds/FollyOfWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean says his goodbyes to Castiel. Set during s07e12 Time After Time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time and Again

**Author's Note:**

> This was beta'd by my fanfic mentor [Mertiya](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertiya)! She is cooler than cool, like ice cold. :3

After making plans with Eliot Ness for a quick makeover in the morning, Dean reclines against the headboard of the bed in his hotel room and basks in the 1940s mystique. A genuine smile plays on his lips and he sighs happily. Even though he knows he needs to figure out a way to get back to 2012 and murdering the hell out of Dick Roman, there’s nothing he can do about it now, so why not just relax for a bit? All there is to think about in 1944 is hunting a time traveling douchebag, since all his dead or otherwise fucked up family and friends haven’t even been born yet.

Wait.

No.

One of them, practically the most important one, is…was as old as the Earth or some shit. _Cas. I’ve gotta call Cas. Can I call Cas? I guess he’d be in a different human jumpsuit, but maybe he’d fly in for a visit._

Dean contemplates for a moment. Maybe he could warn Cas about the future. But then again, after everything they went through, would Cas even believe him? Probably best not to bring it up what with paradoxes and…well…the gay sex. But if he isn’t going to fill Cas in on the whole becoming God and then exploding thing, why call in the first place?

He closes his eyes. _Just…seeing him alive, just for a second. Just so I can say goodbye._ He tents his hands in prayer. “Castiel, uh, your mighty angel-of-the-lordness. This is, uh, your biggest fan calling for an autograph. Come in, over.”

He waits with his eyes squeezed shut for a beat, but no dice. No flutter of wings or rush of wind in his face. He exhales. _Whelp, it was worth a try._ He stares up at the ceiling. _Maybe I should just pray what I was gonna say._ “So, Castiel, I know you’re probably way too busy running your garrison or whatever to come down here. Figured I might as well give it a go anyway. If you can hear me, I just…I forgive you, okay? Just remember that. You got yourself in deep and didn’t know how to dig back out and I get that. And I didn’t say goodbye, so I’m saying it—”

A woman’s voice from across the room interrupts him mid-prayer. “Identify yourself, human, and tell me how you know my name.”

Dean hops off the bed in complete shock. He mouth gapes at a shapely middle-aged brunette standing rigidly a few feet from him. _Dressed head to toe in beige, big surprise._ He snickers and beams back at Past Castiel ( _heh heh, or Pastiel, more like_ ), but her face contorts into a grimace and she narrows her eyes at him. “Your soul. It is…painful to look upon.”

What? Did his Cas feel the same way? Dean doesn’t really know how to respond, so he tries to laugh it off. “Good to see you, too. Uh, nice vessel! Love the color scheme!” The way she holds herself reminds him of that night in the barn when he first met his Castiel. His Cas. His gone-and-not-coming-back-this-time Cas. He huffs out a soft sigh and runs a hand through his hair.

Pastiel winces at him. She takes several steps toward him and looks straight into his eyes. “How did this occur? The light of your soul is clouded with so much regret, betrayal, and guilt. Some of it stems from my grace, but…not from now. How could I have caused you so much pain? How have you come to be in this time?” She searches his face and reaches her hand up toward his forehead.

 _Shit! Is she-Cas trying to read my mind?_ He jerks his head to the side and takes a couple steps back, “No! I guarantee if you don’t like the look of my soul, you do NOT want to see in there!” He points to his temple without turning back toward her.

Pastiel grunts in frustration, but discontinues her advance. “Then at least explain who you are to me, human.”

This was a bad idea. Dean holds up his hands, still looking away from Pastiel. “Look, you obviously don’t know me right now, so let’s just say I’m a…friend. Named Dean. From the future. …And I missed my chance to tell you goodbye. In the future. After a bunch of really crazy stuff happened. So, just, when it _is_ the future, remember that I already said goodbye in 1944, and know that we’re good. Whatever happens, we’re good. Alright?”

Pastiel tilts her head slightly, “We are…good? At what?”

 _Oh, for fuck’s sake. Not this again._ He almost laughs, “‘We’re good’ means I forgive you. And I apologize.”

“We’re good?”

“Yeah. We’re good.” Dean can’t help himself. He lifts his eyes back to Pastiel and the puzzled look on her face is just as adorable as it ever will be. Paradoxes be damned. He steps up, wraps his arms around Pastiel, and nestles his face against her cheek, “And I miss you so goddamn much.”

Pastiel doesn’t move or really react at all. She just stands motionless while Dean hugs her. He feels moisture stinging at his eyes and for a fraction of a second he imagines not going back, ever. He could just stay here with this Cas. It doesn’t matter if Cas is a man or a woman or a freaking centaur for all he cares. He needs his angel. He just needs this hug to last a little longer.

As Dean squeezes Pastiel to him, he can feel her jaw move against his cheek as she starts to speak, “Dean, the guilt that pollutes you is meaningless. Whatever the events of the future may be, no human soul should carry such weight. If I am forgiven, perhaps you should also forgive yourself.” She turns her head slightly so that her lips are closer to his ear. “I will remember your words. Goodbye, Dean.”

A gentle rustle of feathers and she’s gone.

~*~

**Author's Note:**

> Despite his recent foray into a gay bar, I don't think Dean would be up on trans* issues enough to realize that referring to Castiel as "she" and "her," even in his own head, might be problematic. However, I want to acknowledge that it is, indeed, problematic and that no one's gender should be divined from their appearance. Always ask for preferred pronouns, whether you think you can guess them or not!


End file.
